ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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