I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
her facebook's as public as her vagina
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
