Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
