"it" just moved
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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