Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
