Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
