Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
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New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
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i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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