if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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