Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
