I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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