I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
