Buhtt sex?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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