What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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