ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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