I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize