I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize