are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
