I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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