Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."

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(918): Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now. (918): He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced." http://tfl.nu/be28

Replies (15) Good night (2333) Bad night (850)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.

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(337): I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel. http://tfl.nu/jndo

Replies (56) Good night (8382) Bad night (962)
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(585): View more from New York

This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.

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(585): This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation. http://tfl.nu/p6rk

Replies (4) Good night (3240) Bad night (797)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!

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(405): I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh! http://tfl.nu/nhcn

Replies (43) Good night (5053) Bad night (913)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls

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(443): Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls http://tfl.nu/0maf

Replies (11) Good night (3999) Bad night (846)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???

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(970): Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas??? http://tfl.nu/mb80

Replies (32) Good night (5151) Bad night (746)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend

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(204): Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend http://tfl.nu/gyj1

Replies (22) Good night (1061) Bad night (2698)
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(251): View more from Alabama

I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.

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(251): I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight. http://tfl.nu/6i3x

Replies (13) Good night (4678) Bad night (1248)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

soo how bad was i last night?

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.

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(402): soo how bad was i last night? (1-402): licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad. http://tfl.nu/4qt2

Replies (4) Good night (1172) Bad night (2088)
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(720): View more from Colorado

No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.

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(720): No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No. http://tfl.nu/pprs

Replies (18) Good night (2139) Bad night (626)
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(209): View more from California

She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.

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(209): She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana. http://tfl.nu/10jo

Replies (3) Good night (1896) Bad night (460)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.

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(605): Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday. http://tfl.nu/aaw6

Replies (15) Good night (2911) Bad night (502)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?

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(+44): PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end? http://tfl.nu/1yv9

Replies (4) Good night (1670) Bad night (491)
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(619): View more from California

For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.

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(619): For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this. http://tfl.nu/nvhn

Replies (14) Good night (1892) Bad night (523)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.

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(+44): New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest. http://tfl.nu/rx56

Replies (2) Good night (586) Bad night (226)

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