She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.