Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

Oh.My.God.

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(405): So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid (1-405): Oh.My.God. http://tfl.nu/b4yo

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(937): View more from Ohio

How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?

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(937): How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink? http://tfl.nu/zmgw

Replies (61) Good night (3800) Bad night (1153)
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(949): View more from California

i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"

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(949): i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE" http://tfl.nu/e95g

Replies (18) Good night (1126) Bad night (4288)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.

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(717): Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up. http://tfl.nu/3bej

Replies (33) Good night (4515) Bad night (1560)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants

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(910): so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants http://tfl.nu/bero

Replies (42) Good night (691) Bad night (12017)
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(269): View more from Michigan

I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.

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(269): I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you. http://tfl.nu/jro0

Replies (9) Good night (3648) Bad night (910)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?

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(605): Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying? http://tfl.nu/tphe

Replies (12) Good night (4280) Bad night (1094)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.

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(203): The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/eiym

Replies (6) Good night (803) Bad night (1817)
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(512): View more from Texas

Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.

(512): View more from Texas

Wont she be proud, Hailey.

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(512): Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting. (512): Wont she be proud, Hailey. http://tfl.nu/kwv4

Replies (8) Good night (1291) Bad night (1583)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?

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(908): I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember? (610): Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead? http://tfl.nu/yv69

Replies (13) Good night (1345) Bad night (577)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign

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(717): He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign http://tfl.nu/lo7q

Replies (3) Good night (1030) Bad night (277)
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(+45): View more from Denmark

Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!

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(+45): Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad! http://tfl.nu/8427

Replies (2) Good night (813) Bad night (342)
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(206): View more from Washington

We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.

(425): View more from Washington

It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze

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(206): We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though. (425): It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze http://tfl.nu/aqsr

Replies (1) Good night (748) Bad night (360)
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(406): View more from Montana

Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.

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(406): Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on. http://tfl.nu/kjpy

Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (245)
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(574): View more from Indiana

Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.

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(574): Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again. http://tfl.nu/4me9

Replies (2) Good night (165) Bad night (350)

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