so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.