Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
