I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
