You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
