An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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