Already got asked if we're dating
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Randomize
