Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
