he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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