Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
