I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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