I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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