see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
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he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
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We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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