No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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