come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
