she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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