You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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