Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
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he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
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He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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