Whats the glycemic index on semen?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
