Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
