He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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