No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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