Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
