if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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