dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
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As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
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I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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