Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
