I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
