You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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