dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
