Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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