she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
tell me about the fingering
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
