idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just had sex bonerless
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
