so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
