Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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