Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I have fence marks all over my body
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize