I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
