I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We need a shit load of segways right now
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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