Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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