I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
